2 More Books Down

Well, my weekends at work are doing wonders for my reading habits! Its been so slow at the motel that I have been basically doing nothing but reading for 8 hours a day 3 days a week! (Perhaps this is why I have a constant headache!) I am currently out of things to read so I will be playing around on the Internet during work today....maybe I can find a free e-Book to read!

Saturday I finished Mr Darcy Takes a Wife and let me tell you, it was everything I wanted it to be! It was written by a woman from Texas who spent 4 years doing research in order to write this book. She did a fabulous job in my mind! I love that she takes the Austen characters and builds on the foundations laid in Pride and Prejudice. Darcy and Elizabeth get married and the book basically chronicles the first 10 years of their marriage, but it has twists and turns you wouldn't expect. I loved it, but then I love just about anything Austen related!

I also read Shakespeare's Counselor on Saturday, it was a short mystery novel part of a series so it was an easy read that I enjoyed. Not much to say about it other than I have been reading through Charlaine Harris' work like wild fire. I have read all of the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries and SC is the last book of the Lily Bard series that I can find. I love Harris' work because it is interesting but not so intellectual that I have to really think about what I am reading. That sounds like her work is dumb but really its full of complicated characters and interesting situations.

Well, once I get back to Sheridan today I will make my way to the library and find some more literary treasures to soak up! For now I wish you happy reading!

A Sweet Far Thing

I finished "A Sweet Far Thing" by Libba Bray on Sunday. It was a quick easy read and full of delightfully real characters. I won't try to explain what this book is about, but I did enjoy it. However, it was the 3rd of a trilogy and I missed the 2nd somewhere so I will have to go back and read the series again.

I'm now working on "Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife" and let me tell you, I LOVE it!

Books of 2011

Hey there friends! I have decided to steal an idea from a friend. I will be blogging about the books that I read this year. I am proud to say that last Fall I read all of the Sookie Stackhouse books, and most of the Lily Bard books (Shakespeare's Counselor is part of this series). I think I've read close to 30 books since September! I can't seem to get enough of books lately, which I don't think is a problem, although my sister says I am too much of a bookworm and I need a social life! This post will contain a couple short entries on the books that I have already read in 2011, and then I will do a small post for each book following.

First book was Inkspell, by Cornelia Funke

I can't lie; I love books about books. This is the second in the Inkheart Trilogy. It took me a while to read this one since I started it before the holidays and things were pretty hectic, therefore I only read it sporadically, but I felt that Funke did a fantastic job of bringing the characters from the first book in the series and giving them more challenges to overcome. The main character, Meggie, has a voice so beautiful that when she reads aloud the character literally come to life in our world. She discovers that she can also read people into a story and does this to herself and her friend Farid. I enjoyed the descriptions of the Inkworld as well as the addition of new characters. All in all a good read!

I just finished Darcy's Story, by Janet Aylmer. It is basically Pride and Prejudice through Mr Darcy's eyes. If you know me at all you know that I am obsessed with Jane Austen's work and anything that pertains to it. This book was a wonderful story and it made me fall in love with Mr Darcy all over again. I will say this, its a little melodramatic at times, and a bit repetitive regarding the conversation that Darcy and Elizabeth have after he proposes the first time. I enjoyed getting to know Georgiana a little more as well as Darcy's cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam. Its a fuzzy novel, and not very long. I pronounce it another good read!

Finally I have been perusing Lewis Carrol's works which I would always recommend. Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, and some of his poems and such are all fun to read and fairly easy. No one can go wrong with a classic.

Here's a list of the books I just picked up from the Library:

The Sweet Far Thing, by Libba Bray

Shakespeare's Counselor, by Charlaine Harris

Dead Over Heels, by Charlaine Harris

Mr Darcy Takes a Wife, by Linda Berdoll

I also plan on getting my hands on a series called Thursday Next as well as some more Jane Austen.

What the heck is Poolish?!

Finally, school! The holiday break felt much longer than it actually was. Needless to say, its wonderful to finally be in classes again!

This semester looks to be a busy one for me. I have a job at the motel working weekends so it looks like my time off during the week will have to be utilized to catch up on missed sleep!

My class schedule is pretty full, taking 21 credits this semester to stay ahead of the game and not end up at Sheridan College for more than 2.5 years. Here's a look at what my weeks consist of:

Monday: 8-8:50am Purchasing

10:30-11:20am Bar and Beverage Control

11:30-12:30 Hospitality Practicum

5:00-10:00pm Cooking class

Tuesday: 9:00-10:20 Supervision

5:00-10:00pm Cooking

Wednesday: 8-8:50am Purchasing

10:30-11:20am Bar and Beverage Control

5:00-10:00pm Cooking class

Thursday: 9:00-10:20am Supervision

Friday: 8:00-8:50am Purchasing

2:00-10:00pm work at Super 8

Saturday: 2:00-10:00pm work at Super 8

Sunday: 6:00am-2:00pm work at Super 8

So far in Basic Baking we've made all kinds of yeast breads, quick breads, cookies, pies, and starters. My favorite was the sourdough, we made a simple starter of organic wheat flour and water, fed it for 2 weeks while it fermented and then used it to make some delish sourdough bread! We also made a Poolish, which is a starter that includes yeast, so you only ferment it over night, but it adds more flavor to simple breads.

Some days I do really well in the baking classes, others I have a hard time because I like to do things my way but in class I would rather follow the recipe and not mess up, but inevitably I do. Oh well things still taste pretty good!

This coming week is our last week of Basic Baking, then we move into Garde Manger 2 which is more salads, sandwhiches and cold dishes. After 10 days of that we do Advanced Baking followed by Breakfast and Lunch Cookery. Its going to be a good semester!

Non-Resolutions and a Look at 2010

Happy New Year, followers!

I recently saw a post about New Year Non-Resolutions. This man stated that since he never followed through with his resolutions he decided to make non-resolutions, this year he wanted to get fat, keep smoking, not go to Europe, and not finish writing his book. It made me giggle because I rarely follow through with my resolutions, if I even make them.

When I think about the New Year I can't help but look back on the things I have accomplished and learned in the Old Year:

1-I directed a musical. Guys and Dolls was an eyeopener for me in many ways; I learned that even though I am a talented director if my heart isn't in it, its not worth the effort. I also re-learned that I do not like working with high school students. This realization brought with it an appreciation for those teachers that love what they do, and do it well! High school teachers are pretty amazing people.

2-I decided to go back to school and become a chef! 2 summers of cooking at camp showed me that I can make a living, and be happy doing it, as a cook. It was time to hone my skills, challenge myself and become a (gasp!) non-traditional student! Since school began I have done all of that, and most of my classmates are non-trads as well!

3-My 3rd summer as head cook at Camp WYOBA! Lots of new faces and old friends! I feel at home on the mountain, part of a family, and as I was struggling God brought people into my life that helped me to heal. I was more excited to tell these people about my school plans because I knew they would be excited for me!

4-My first year as head cook for Camp Hope! Talk about an overwhelming experience! In the 6 days I headed up the kitchen I learned so much from the nurses and nutritionists that I can only hope to have retained! Hopefully this year won't be so scary for me!

5-Moving out of my parents' house... Well, that has mixed feelings, they are helping me with rent because I have been struggling to find a job, so I still depend on them. But to have my own place is wonderful! It is tiny and doesn't stay very warm but it is my home.

6-Sharing a house with my sister has been an adventure all its own. She and I get along very well, most of the time. I do most of the cleaning and pay for our groceries and Internet so I feel I have a right to say that she lives with me. But she has paid more rent than me so, she says I live with her. We joke that she wears the pants in our relationship, and we have grown even closer in the last few months.

7-My first semester at Wyoming Culinary Institute has taught me so much I can't even begin to write it down. I am proud to say that I received 5 A's and 2 B's this semester! Bring on next semester's 23 credit hours!!

2010 was full of craziness, stress, loss, learning, and lots of joy: I struggled with depression and anger while my family coped with the fear and stress of my brother's deployment to Afghanistan. In 2010 I lost my great-great-Aunt Mil, my great-Uncle Ray, my great Aunt Betty, my great-Uncle John, and my adopted great-Uncle Shorts, all were incredible memebers of my family and had each taought me something special, I feel their absence, but am excited to see them again some day in Heaven. My sister got in trouble smoking pot in the cemetery and went into therapy for addictions and depression. Together, she and I got a flying cardinal tattoo to honor our great-great-aunt, to represent freedom from depression, and to just be badasses! My brother returned home safely in June and also got to spend the Christmas holidays with us! Oh, and finally to top off my year I replaced the engine in my car only to have it break down on one of the coldest days of December!

Through the sorrow of loss, stresses of life, and joys God sent my way, I, somehow, survived 2010!

Already, 2011 has brought its stresses and joys and I am looking forward to what ever God has written/unwritten for me! So, in honor of a non-resolution that made me think about all this, I would like to leave you with my non-resolutions:
1-I will not lose any weight or get into shape.
2-I will not go to NYC to see my best friend!
3-I will not get all A's and make the honor roll.
4-I will not work hard to be Culinary Student of the Year.
5-I will not get another tattoo.
6-I will not get organized before Camp WYOBA opens in May.
7-I will not have an amazing year!

Wall-paper paste and shrimp scampi

Hello blogging world! Its been a long time since I blogged, mainly because I completely forgot and partly because I haven't had much Internet access lately. So, I will sum up my first few weeks of classes and life in the last few months.

After the main WYOBA camps came to an end I went back to Buffalo, in hopes of finding work and a place to live in Sheridan, where I am going to school. Talk about challenging! I turned in several applications and heard back from one! I interviewed and turned the job down because the hours would have interfered with my school schedule, and I had a bad vibe from the interview. Needless to say I called Super 8 and was put back on the schedule there, this week is the last week I am working there tho so the job search is on again!

Looking for a place to live was just as challenging, since its my sister and I we needed a 2 bedroom place that was affordable for us. After much searching, and plenty of gas, we finally found a place! We've been moved in for about 2 weeks now and its starting to feel like a home. My favorite part about this place is the hardwood floors, although they are pretty, they are also v. cold!

School is much more challenging than I anticipated and sometimes I feel like a complete idiot! Take last night's class for example; we had to make shallow poached chicken, deep poached salmon, mashed potatoes (who knew there was a right way and a wrong way to mash potatoes!), steamed broccoli, and spaghetti squash compote. I chose to plate the chicken, which meant that I had to make an extra sauce for it. I used a little too much roux (butter and flour cooked together to be used a a thickener) and my sauce was rather thick....ok it was more like wall paper paste, as Chef demonstrated by turning the pan upside down for a few minutes and it didn't even change shape! Luckily, it is an easily remedied mistake and my partner and I were commended for being only ones who plated the chicken instead of the salmon.

We have 3 instructors in the program, Monty, who teaches all the hospitality and management related classes, Chef RJ who teaches the morning sections, and Chef Tim who teaches the evening sections of the culinary classes. Currently I only have had class with RJ once, and that was a 4 day long sanitation class. Chef Tim is v. knowledgeable and sometimes intimidating, imagine the short French Chef from Ratatouille, add a mouth like a sailor and you've got the right idea.

The school caters different functions in both Sheridan and Johnson County, I have worked on the catering trolley once and this last weekend 20 of us catered a function in Buffalo for the Girl's and Boy's Club of the Big Horns. I worked the sushi station and the shrimp scampi station. It was a lot of fun but a lot of work. I am so thankful that we get to do these kinds of functions because it gives us the opportunity to gain experience as chefs and in a public setting. Soon, I will be gaining more experience serving in the restaurant.

Be the Change: 100 Things - My list

Be the Change: 100 Things - My list

Dianna,

I think you can cross off #100. You have changed my life just by being my friend and summer roomie. Your blogs remind me to be a smarter consumer and Christian. And finally you are just amazingly gifted and loving!

Done.

Check.

I am better because of you.

Dream Log 5/29

Just woke up from a dream that I did not want to end. It started off a little strange but ended great!

We begin in a town similar to Sioux Falls, I think I was visiting friends. I was driving to meet someone somewhere and missed a turn so I decided to just keep going down the road I was currently on. I started speeding, and finally got to the end of the road, it was a big store like Wal Mart, but wasn't a WM. While wandering around the store I entered another building and suddenly was at my wedding.

The place was small and had windows looking out to the mountains. The guests were making their way in and at one point there were tables all over and each table and a mini cake on it that the guests were to share. Someone was angry that all they got was a tiny piece of cake and I pointed out that there was still a larger cake up front.

I was being a bit of a bridezilla throughout the rest of the dream, but it was over things that were legit. There were about 5 mom's with their small children sitting right up front, and the children were being so noisy that when the wedding started I knew that they would drown out any other sound on the video. So I asked that they move to the back.

I had 2 bridesmaids and one other girl was there in this weird flowing white gown thing that kinda looked like a satin sheet toga. She was supposed to be the flower girl or something, but I didn't really want her there because she kept trying to be the center of attention. My sister was one of the bridesmaids but the other was a girl I have never met, but it felt like we were the best of friends.

Finally it was time for the ceremony to start but things were still a little chaotic, guests were still arriving and as the groomsmen started walking out I was still in the main room. I was pissed at the number of people who were late and mad that we were starting without them.

Once everyone got to the proper places we were actually ready to start. Did I mention that in the dream I still hadn't figured out who the groom was? Well the groomsmen and groom got to their places and while the bridesmaids made their way down the isle, I was sneaking peaks at the groom...let me say that me dreaming didn't know who it was, but the me as a bride did.

He ended up being someone I had a HUGE thing for back in high school! Needless to say it was a good dream even though I woke up right after I figured out who the groom was.

Spring Cleaning

Well spring has finally arrive in Buffalo WY and with it comes that overwhelming task of spring cleaning. I find myself in need of a good cleaning in several different aspects of my life. The first is the physical, over the past year or so I have really let my space (being my tiny little room at home) get overly cluttered and just plain messy. I’ve always been a "throw it on the desk now and deal with it later" kind of person and that is why my room gets the way it does. However this year has been a little different, between poor health and a very hectic schedule I had very little downtime and when I did get it I generally just wanted to veg. But that is no excuse for only taking out the trash when its overflowing or letting the space under my bed become my filing cabinet.

So, in the next few weeks I will be pulling EVERYTHING (minus the bed and other large furniture) out of my room and going through it all. Its time to get rid of the stuff that clutters up my spaces. My rules for keeping things: sentimental value must be a 7 or above. If I don’t use it it goes. If I haven’t worn it in the last 6 months it goes. So…be on the look out for photos of my decluttering process! This will also make my move in August go more smoothly as I will have already gone through everything and will have boxed much of it up.

Second, I need to do some cleaning in my social life, and this may sound a little strange but it means that I will be going through my Facebook friends and removing connections to people that I either don’t talk to or people that may not be good influences on my life….don’t worry there aren’t very many of them and if you read my blog you probably won’t be one of the removed connections. Its just something I feel I need to do.

Thirdly, and most importantly I need to do some spiritual spring cleaning. This is the part that will be the hardest and will take the longest because I have a lot of skeletons in my closets…Things that I need to talk to God about and actually hand over to Him. I've always had trouble handing things to Him and completely surrendering my life to Him. I just like to be in control, or at least I like to think that I am in control.

I’ve been in a spiritual dessert lately, my home church is no longer a place where I feel I can grow as a Believer. I find that I have been turned off by many “Christians” and all their “Christian” things. I am a firm believer in God and I want to persue my relationship with Him, but I feel that the “Christian” community has become so bogged down with doctrines and poltics and other childish behavior that none of what they teach seems real to me. I want to find a body of believers who want to a. worship God, b. encourage and uplift one another, c. be real with one another and d. spread the Gospel in a real way not the candy coated “Christian” way.

As I search for a new body of believers to plug into I will be doing some serious soul searching and praying. Weeding out the things that get in the way of my relationship with Christ. I know that He has a plan and that He is going to do some amazing things in my life, and in order for those things to come to fruition my heart needs some serious cleaning.

Spring has always been a time of renewal for me. The rain falls and nourishes the plants which then grow and produce beautiful flowers and green stuff. Baby animals are running around in that cute baby way signifying a new-ness and a clean slate. And we start wearing our summer clothes and shoes. Everything seems so fresh and new. For me, Spring is New Years and that's when I make my resolutions. This year I want to clean out my life and then continue to keep it clean.

Let the cleaning begin!!!!

Dream log 3/31/10

Its funny how our dreams take events and thoughts from our day and stores them while we sleep. Last night I had one of the strangest dreams I have had in a long time (personally I blame the Zoloft).

It began with me and a group of my college friends going on a trip to NYC. I remember walking around in some of the neighborhoods and talking about the things we would do and see. Then all of the sudden we were getting off a plane in London, still talking about NYC. We were then put on some very futuristic looking buses that were going to take us to our train-themed motel. As we drove around my friend Haley would randomly squeel as she recognized buildings and such (some of them were London buildings and some were NYC buildings). I also remember seeing a building from one of my dreams a few months ago, it was a cool second hand kind of store that sold retro/indie stuff.

When we finally arrived on the outskirts of town (whether London or NYC I couldn't tell), and pulled into our motel it turned out to be a sort of summer camp/monastary/Catholic girl's school. As we piled out of the buses a nun rushed out and asked us to wait quietly while a class was finishing in the main hall.

While i waited I checked my phone and was listening to music, after a bit i realized everyone was gone so I started to roam around looking for where our rooms were. I then found Haley sitting in a very large gazebo at the back of the property, so I joined her there and we noticed that our place was next to an all boys summer camp, with some very nice looking counselors!

The gazebo began to fill up with said counselors and other Brits. There were two of the couselors that were clearly interested in Haley and I; they were talking in such thick accents we couldn't understand them. But they were funny and we laughed and joke with them for a while. One of the teachers from the girls school came over and asked us to be wary of the (get this) white chedder spiders that were currently infesting the grounds. In about 2 seconds everyone had cleared out of the gazebo and Haley and i made our way to the dorms.

Between the gazebo and the dorms was a large wooden staircase that led up to a sort of walkway in the trees. we decided it would be faster to climb the stairs and make our way to the dorms that way but halfway up someone started comeing down and told us that the stairs were too rickety to cross. So we ran accross the yard instead.

In the dorm we found an empty fold out couch to sleep on and one of the nuns warned us to keep ourselves wrapped up tight in the covers to keep from being bitten by the white chedder spiders. These spiders were about as big as a wolf spider but had spikey legs. The bodies and six legs were orange and brown but two of their legs were the color of white chedder. They were crawling all over the place making me squirm with fear.

After this my dream started to fade and I woke up thinking "What in the world?!"

Dream Log

3.18.2010

The dream began in a downtown area of a town similar to the one I live in; shops and cafes all lined up down a zig-zagging street. I'm not sure how it started but I do remember that I ended up in an antique shop concerned about a blue coat and black gloves. I think I was some sort of CSI b/c I was looking over everything and there were several others interviewing the store owner and neighboring stores. One neighbor in particular was very disturbed about something getting into his place and swimming in the vats (not sure what was in these vats but he was pretty angry and old).

I remember talking with several of the other CSI's and again the coat was a huge concern.

We must have solved the case because we all decided to go out for drinks. Well, we were the night crew so it was about 5am, and yet there was a bar still open so we went there. While there me and another female CSI got into some weird verbal contest with another patron at the bar. I eventually got bored with this and decided to go sit at an empty table by myself.

On my way home the grouchy old man from the store with the vats was following me and was really angry that we didn't do anything about the people swimming in his vats. I was kinda scared of him and went down this creepy ally lined with what turned out to be dorm rooms. As I was walking down the ally-turned-hallway I remember thinking to myself, "I give up on dating. So unless I see a light at the end of this tunnel I'll never date again." About 5 doors down there were lights on in two of the rooms on the right and as I walked past the first I glanced at the door and saw a man staring at me, so I went in.

He had 3 roommates, a cat and a small bull dog. He offered to buy me Pizza Hut and I agreed. His mother showed up before we left and she was all excited to meet me. Instead of going to Pizza Hut he took me to this weird cafeteria place where all the food was frozen. I was disappointed because I couldn't eat any of it and while he was filling his plate I kept thinking, "I should have gone to the second door."

Weird!

Dreaming of you

I've been sitting here for ages thinking about what I could possibly say to make all these feelings known. Your presence in my thoughts is so constant that even when I don't think I am thinking about you, you're there; the wind in the trees, a whisper in the dark, its all you.

We haven't talked since that day; did you forget the things you said? When we walked together I was full of life. When you held my hand it felt like you wanted the same things I did. Have you forgotten the way you looked at me?

We live far away and rarely see each other, but no matter who I meet or what I do, there's no one like you. You are my ideal, you were there before I learned what dreaming was, you are my dream. A small piece of light in darkness that keeps me from giving up.

For years I've tried to tell myself that I am over you, for years I've believed that lie. No matter what you'll always be my first love. No matter what you'll hold a place in my heart, my dreams and my soul. I can't let go of you.

Now, you're with another. Now, I can't even hope for something more. Now, I am alone. I will always have that night, that walk and that look, but I'll never have you. I won't let go of that dream.

Maybe one day I'll get over you. Perhaps someone better will come along, but for now, tonight, I'll settle for dreams. I'll walk alone and remember the times we had.

Good things in life...

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed by life's trials, and I've done my fair share of complaining about it all. I have every right to feel the way I do but I'm tired of feeling so low.

So, I've decided to compile a list of things that brighten my day. Most will be disjointed and many may not understand how some of them could possibly be a positive thing, but trust me, they all are special in some way.

Snow sparkling in the sunlight.

Wind swaying through green meadows in the mountains.

A big wet kiss from my dog when I've only stepped outside for a few minutes.

A baby's sigh.

Watching an actor become their character.

Seeing someone discover a love for the stage.

Being part of a special moment.

Melancholy anime films.

Abstract paintings.

Getting lost in a big city.

The smell of rain in the pines.

A misty night in London.

The boardwalk on a beach in Miami.

Laughing with my brother and sister.

Crying in a really good movie.

Cello music.

The perfect yarn for a crocheted hat.

Frank Sinatra.

Clean laundry.

A good cuppa tea.

The perfect hot chocolate.

Crawling into bed after a hard day's work.

Sleeping in.

Daydreams.

Baking cookies.

Overcoming a challenge.

Learning something new and exciting about myself.

Making a new friend.

Rollercoasters.

Watching a friend perform.

A glass of dry red wine, Kacie singing and playing the piano, and good friends all at the Paramount Piano Bar.

One too many shots of tequilla with Tif and Nejla.

Cheesy old movies.

A new episode of my favorite shows.

A new pair of shoes.

Multi-tasking like a madwoman!

Being lazy.

Long drives with the music blaring.

Peeing after a long drive.

Coming home to the Big Horns.

Exploring a new place.

Hiking.

Project Destruction.

Giant blow-up obstacle courses.

Reconnecting with old friends.

Feeling useful.

Completing a big project.

A good action movie.

New foods.

Kitchen gadgets.

Homemade hot fudge at the Noetlitch's

Feeling like I belong.

Swimming.

Throwing the perfect snowball.

Coming inside after being out in frigid temperatures.

That's all I can think of for now. Perhaps there will be a Good things post #2. I'm trying to be more positive in my thinking and hopefully it will carry over into the events in my life.

Sleepless Nights and Crazy Days

Wow! That's all I have to say about the last few months in my little world.

Some days it feels like nothing is going on and then all of the sudden EVERYTHING starts happening at once. Between working weird hours at Super 8, rehearsals after school M-F, and a crazy family I feel like I hardly have time to breathe!

Let's see here, family: my cousin is in the hospital doing her best to keep Baby safe long enough for her lungs to develop. Meanwhile her 3 girls are spending time with Great-Grandma. The rest of the family is all doing their part to keep life moving here. Looks like we'll have Baby around soon!

More family: brother is in Afghanistan. Just moved from one of the quieter regions to a more tumultuous area (oh joy of joys! more stress and worry!) So far we've only been able to get a 10 min call once a week, now, who knows when we'll here from him again. Praying that God will keep him and his company safe as they work alongside the Afghan Police to make peace with the Taliban.

Rehearsals for Guys and Dolls are well underway, but between state music events, debate, sickness, and laziness I have yet to have the entire cast at a rehearsal. Would like to be running the show from top to end by now, but noooooooo. I've decided musicals are not my cup of tea as a director.

Find myself missing Sioux Falls and friends a lot lately. Pretty lonely here and really sick of high schoolers and their drama. Ready to move on to the next stage of my life but sadly am stuck here for a while due to student loans and medical bills :-( Doing my best to be satisfied with where I am and what I am doing. Praying for peace.

One good bit of news: I recently received an email regarding a stage managing position with Montana Shakespeare in the Parks. I am currently in the process of applying for the position. If it works out I would be spending June in Bozeman, MT, helping with rehearsals for "Julius Caesar" before the team goes on tour. This would be another great networking opportunity for me, as well as getting more experience as a stage manager! Big prayers about this one.

Well for now that is about it. My thoughts are so mixed up I can't really form a coherent sentence but I thought you might like a quick update.

Semper Fi,
TarahBelle

Woes of a first time high school drama coach

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. It seems like everything is against the production I'm currently directing. Here's a brief list of the things that have been falling apart on me:

1. Our scripts were not properly ordered back in July and by the middle of August, when I was calling the school on a weekly basis, they still hadn't come, I called the publishing company and they never received the order! So we ordered them rush delivery. Four weeks later we called the company and the scripts had been back ordered! By this time we were already 3 weeks into rehearsals so I said forget it we'll just stick with the few copies we already had.

2. H1N1 hit our town and hit hard. There were only a few confirmed cases because the number of children sick was so large the doctors said that not to go to the clinic unless there was a dangerously high fever b/c there wasn't anything to be done . Of the 12 students that I have in the play, 5 have been out sick.

3.At the beginning of the rehearsal process I had to have surgery and my energy level was way low. So I let quite a few things slide which are now returning to kick me in the butt. Focus is a major issue and I'm not sure how exactly to get these students properly motivated.

4. Costumes of course for a period play are always an issue, but I thought we were covered when a grad student from UNL said she'd pull some costumes from a recent show. To my great distress the show was accepted into a competition and now we can no longer use the costumes.

5. As always there is lots of drama and such going on in the lives of high school students, mine are no exception. Sadly the most frustrating is the drama between my sister and I. I am not the greatest sister in the world, but lately I seem to be doing everything that upsets her. Its frustrating because I tend to say things I don't mean at rehearsal and whether I apologize or not she stays pissed for a few days.

6. At the beginning of the school year I was told that I had a $3500 budget for the year. Today, I was informed that we have used all of our money in our account, $510! This was what the previous director spent last year so its the budget the financial committee at the school gave us. Needless to say I was pissed, and confused since I was given a much higher number to begin with. I don't how to handle it all but I think I've got it figured out, for now.

While much of this is out of my control, I still am feeling hugely overwhelmed and incapable of making this a truly successful show. I hate feeling so inept. I knew that it would be tough and that I would be learning a lot during this first play, but currently I am not seeing any blue sky ahead.
I want to keep doing this, I won't give up, not yet at least.

Wonderful Wyoming

This is what I see in Buffalo, Wyoming that keeps me here:

Loyalty, sometimes small town politics get in the way but we still stick up for one another.

Supportive, just go to any BHS event, you'll see what I mean.

Kindness, the people are friendly and kind, always willing to help their neighbors.

Quiet, what else can I say?

Slower pace of life, no need to rush around, just take it slow.

The Meadowlark's call, it means summertime to me.

Crazy weather, we may live at a slower pace but the weather keeps us on our toes.

Rain in the Big Horn Mountains, there is no other smell that calms me like this, its sweet and earthy and fresh.

The Big Horn Mountains, shelter, recreation, and so much more.

Nothing too fancy, not too many stuck up people or restaurants to get in the way.

Home, yeah it will always be home no matter what.

Gorgeous, its beautiful almost all year round!

Counting down the Days

My adventure on the road is nearly at its end. I have many mixed feelings about the last few months. Some are good, some are not. Its hard to sort through everything and come up with an emotion or feeling for the tour as a whole. In many ways its divided into three parts; the learning, the enjoyment, and the pain.
The learning involves what I have learned from being on the road, working with all kinds of children, working with all kinds of adults, and the little things I have learned about myself. Life on the road has made me see what is really necessary for daily life, things like a normal daily schedule and familiar faces. Along with that I have learned that there are things I can live without, like a television, (as long as I have the internet I have no need for TV). I've learned how to deal with (well deal with for a week at least) any kind of problem child, and the most important tools are kindness and patience. Adults sometimes take more patience than children! Along with that I have also learned which battles are worth fighting and what isn't worth mentioning. I won't even go into what I learned about myself; it would take too long.
The greatest joy I have on the road is watching the children grow and gain confidence (in just a few days!). During auditions they are barely audible, and are so shy, but by Friday's dress rehearsal they are ready and willing to step out in front of that audience. Its also important to note that they even gain a respect for each other and sometimes are better behaved by the end of the week (whether that lasts I don't know but I can hope it does!)
There are many kinds of pain I have faced on this trip, including physical and spiritual. Since we spend Sundays traveling to the next town we rarely get to go to church. Without fellowship with other believers I feel drained and spiritually empty many days. I listen to a lot of worship music and that helps lift my spirits but its certainly not the same as worshipping with a body of believers on a regular basis. This trip has also put a strain on some of my friendships, I find that people I thought were my friends really aren't worth the effort I put into the friendship. But that being said, I'm not worth the effort God made for me. I've learned much about His grace and trying to see others through His eyes.
The physical pain comes in many ways, allergies causing headaches, stupid gallstones acting up, and the ever present back pain I can't get rid of. I've learned to put the pain aside and press on. We literally have no time off or sick days on tour so we can't be sick. I've been lucky enough not to be really ill on this trip, though I have been uncomfortable many times. I think its prepared me for something bigger, like mission work or motherhood.
I have just 10 more days on tour. Such a small number, and yet such a big number! Now that I have everything ready for the summer and to start making plans for the Fall, I am ready to be done with this part of my life. So, while I will miss certain aspects of touring, I am more than ready to be done.
Camp starts at the end of May, Anna comes the 2nd week of June, and then its 2 months of craziness in the kitchen at WYOBA! Come Fall I'll be moving to Ft Collins and starting a new phase in my life. A new adventure awaits around each corner and it'll be amazing!

Windy nights

I've just finished watching to film version of Doubt, and I still can't decide if I like it or not. But it has this whole thing with the wind in it and since its windy tonight I can't seem to get windy images out of my head. I felt like writing some of them down and since the computer was the closest thing I figured I should use it.
Generally the wind signifies change, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. I'm reading Charlotte Bronte's Villette and Lucy, the main character, says that windy nights always signify change in her world, usually change that means uprooting one's life and moving somewhere entirely new. I haven't finished the book yet, but I like this idea. Stormy windy nights often change the physical appearance of the outside world. Whether it be by bring snow and ice, or knocking down trees and homes, the wind brings physical change.
But it also changes the way things feel. As a child I loved windy days in the summer because it meant I could fly my kite. Watching that simple colored diamond soar high in the air always made me feel like I too could fly far above the earth and see things from way up high. Wind in the winter generally meant a snow storm was on its way, and what child doesn't pray for a snow day late in February? To know that you get to sleep in makes you feel so fabulous!
I grew up in the shadow of the Big Horn Mountains and when it rains there, it smells of pine trees and earth. Good clean fresh earth. The wind would carry that wonderful smell for miles down the valleys into the plateaus where we could enjoy it. I miss that smell.
Wind doesn't always bring positive things. Often times it can be destructive, deadly. I have seen what power the wind has when it reaches hurricane force. I have experienced driving along the interstate and the wind nearly blowing my tiny little car into the ditch. I have seen the wind blow over semi's, trees, and homes. The power of the wind reminds me that I am not in control, and sometimes, that's more frightening than anything else.
But we can use the power of the wind, they've been doing it for centuries, windmills. Now with the Go Green craze we're beginning to harness that power on an even larger scale.
Wind can be scary, it can power us, it can remind us of good and bad days. It will always be the agent of change in my mind. And for now, I will let it sing me to sleep.

Finding Joy

I've been in rather low spirits lately; frustrations with work and such, plus loneliness weighted me down so much I could barely breathe some days. Finally I decided that part of my problem was my attitude and that that had to change! I spent a lot of time talking with God and confessing my sins to Him.

During this time He reminded me of my love of encouragement. So I have set out to cheer myself up by cheering others. He even blessed me with a larger tax-return to use on cards and candies to send out.

I've been able to send His love via snail mail to a friend who is hurting after a terrible break-up, another friend who has lost a grandmother, a mentor who has been in low spirits, as well as just sending cards and letters to good friends who have supported me through my own troubles.

I find that I gain more pleasure in sending letters, cards, packages, etc than receiving them. I am so thankful that God has reminded me that only by giving of my heart do I gain anything in return. The simplest thank you on Facebook absolutely makes my day.

So, if you are feeling down, go do something sweet and unexpected for someone else. You will feel better I promise! Find joy in sreading it around!

Tarah Needs

Okay this just looked like too much fun to pass up:

Type your name into a search engine followed by needs. "Yourname needs" and copy down the first 10 phrases that come up in the search. Don't only pick out the cool ones. Do it in order. Tag 10 friends to do this too.This cracked me up! Too Fun! Enjoy!

Here are my results:

Tarah needs that spanking.
Tarah needs a haircut?
Tarah needs somebody to love.
Tarah needs to hang out with me.
Tarah needs $3000.00 by November.
Tarah needs your prayers and financial support.
Tarah needs to work on the cover....
Tarah needs to get a pic up ASAP
Tarah needs to get to work...
Tarah needs a vacation from work politics.

Random assortment of the findings the search engine game me. Some of them are strangely true! Althought I'm not so sure I need a spanking.

Hope this made you smile.