So, the weather outside is frightful, and yes fires are quite delightful, but regardless of being loved or not, I'd rather it didn't snow.
Why is that?
Well, you see, I have to drive the 800ish miles to Sioux Falls tomorrow and snow greatly hinders my speed. As I like to drive fast, it is imperative that the roads are clear. Clear of snow, clear of wind, and most certainly clear of crazy winter drivers!
I've been thinking about all the time I have spent in my car, all alone, on the stretch of Interstate 90 running through South Dakota (I have, in fact, driven over every inch of that road snaking through the state). I drove it at least four times a year for three years. I saw a lot of interesting driving techniques, most of which were safe enough, but a few were rather stupid.
So here are the top five stupid things I saw drivers doing while driving across South Dakota:
1) Reading
2) Holding a "lap" dog, which was actually a German Shepherd
3) Mooning/flashing, yes the driver doing this
4) Kissing
And my all time least favorite
5) Speeding in a poorly weighted pickup when the roads are covered with freezing rain and blowing snow, then fishtailing in an attempt to pass me, nearly hitting me, running through the median, across the opposite bound lane, ending up upside down in the ditch. Stupid, reckless, and life threatening.
Driving Interstate 90 in the winter is certainly treacherous. Why do I attempt this road?
Well, as they say, the end justifies the means. At the other end of South Dakota is a great town called Sioux Falls, and in it are some of my most favorite people ever! After living among them for three years I got a little attached. I can't wait to see my dearest friends, whom I have not seen for 7 months! The thought of being with them again, even if for a short time, is what draws me across that nasty stretch of interstate, where I will battle snow, high winds, and worst of all, bad drivers!
See you soon SuFu, SoDak!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Criticise This
I've been doing a lot of analyzing lately. Movies, music, theatre, people, and myself. I've found that I tend to look for the bad things first, and the good things second. I can't figure out if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
I am a harsh critic of film and theatre, but I tend to be a little easier on people, but movies and plays are made by people so why the harshness? I guess I see the things that I could have done better. Here's an example, but I have to give a little back story first, so be yee warned!
After being turned down on the Drama Coach position at the local high school, and finding out that a 2nd grade teacher with little to no theatre experience is who was chosen over me, I was a little bitter (to say the least). I decided that if she wanted my help she would call, because the people in charge of hiring told me they would give her my name.
Well, she never called and I heard all kinds of complaints from the cast (many are my sister's friends, whom I knew from helping out with the plays last year). Everything from, being treated like small children, to lack of experience/knowledge about what she was doing, to lack of involvement from the director in the whole process.
So, naturally when I went to watch the play I was already skeptical. As the curtains opened I found myself looking for anything and everything that could possibly go wrong. But, since I did like the actors themselves I tried to look for the positive points as well. By the time the first act was over and intermission started I wanted to leave, but because I also wanted to support the cast and be able to give a solid review I stayed.
My biggest complaint with the play was a simple thing that any good director would have fixed, the way the set was laid out the actors always ended up speaking upstage, instead of toward the audience, therefore they lost over 3/4 of their volume, and a good 1/4 of the play couldn't be heard. All that had to be done was bring the set closer to the edge of the stage, and make sure the actors didn't turn upstage to speak. Simple and effective, something that anyone who even took a theatre class in high school should know.
My second complaint was with the actors' speaking when the audience was laughing. "Laugh lines" are hard to find, but a good director will remind the actors to pause for the audience. An experienced actor knows this, but as they were in high school their experience is limited. So that was another 1/4 of the play's lines lost to the laughing.
Another thing that happens often is actors speeding up their lines, usually caused by nerves. This makes it harder to understand what is being said. Although most of the actors spoke clearly, the rate at which they spoke made it hard to understand. So, we'll add that to the 1/4 of the play lost to volume. So, basically we've lost 1/2 of the play to volume and laughing. That's a lot to miss, and simple to fix.
Finally the one thing that stood out to me was the actor's lack of enthusiasm. Personally I think it came from a number of problems the director made/had/was. First, the play was below the cast's ability. It was a poorly written comedy, with slightly degrading characters and dialogue (degrading in the sense that they did Annie last year, a classic. They've also done The Music Man, and Much Ado About Nothing). The plot was lame, about a hick that becomes king and has to find a wife. His advisor is a swindler who puts on a Bachelor/American Idol/Survivor show to find the king a wife. Many of the actors told me later that they felt like their part was stupid, and that it made them feel stupid too.
Another mistake that the director made to cause the kids to not have the enthusiasm they needed for the performances, was to not do anything more than sit in the house seats to direct. From what I heard (from my sister who is even more critical than me, and from a few other cast members) she didn't get on stage ever. Now, a strong director who has the whole show planned out step by step can do that and still have a strong production. One who asks a cast member to do something different, but doesn't explain what he wants done, or doesn't show what he wants done, won't get anything much different. After all isn't a director's job to, um, direct?!
My final complaint against this director is the fact that she did not expect anything from the cast. She had no goal for them, other than the obvious to put the show on. They did not receive any excitement from her so they had not excitement themselves. An experienced director, even one that has had no training, would set a goal for each rehearsal and for the production itself, something to reach for, and expect the cast to reach it or try their best to reach it.
The stage is a place for actors, directors, and technicians to try new things in new ways. It is about discovery, and, especially in an educational setting, it is about pushing beyond the boundaries of self and comfort to find something new. The most important thing about high school theatre is to have fun while learning new things. This cast didn't learn much and they weren't having fun.
Oh, one more technical thing, costumes. While I know that budget is limited and the kids at the school generally dress the same, the costumes for the play all looked the same. Each of the contestants should have been wearing distinctive clothes. The valley-girl should have been girly and pink(or other such girly clothes), business woman would never wear open toed shoes to an interview, the gangster from NYC needed baggy jeans not tight cut offs (not to mention the sunglasses and hood that was blocking her facial expressions), and all the hill-billies clothes should have been more worn and torn and dirty. It was hard to tell the important characters apart from the ensemble because they all looked almost the same.
Okay now good things. I knew most of the cast, there were a few freshmen and upper-classmen that hadn't been in any of the plays I'd helped with. So I could recall what I had seen them do in the past and use that to analyze what they did in this play. As a whole they are all very talented young men and women. Some are stronger actors than others but they all are good.
The king and the girl he chose both had country accents, both accents were different. This too me was a huge accomplishment. The king was a kind of hill-billy accent whereas the girl was from a ranch in Texas. It was amazing that they could have such similar accents and yet be so different! Props to them!
There was one young man who would be a great actor, he has the voice and inflection to do some great work, however, he has a pattern, and I would love to be able to help him with that. he always uses the same hand gestures, and only moves the upper part of his body to emphasize things. With just a little work I think he could let go of the patterns he falls into and become a great leading man.
The freshmen in the cast were great as well. They had a great command of their voice and their parts, their blocking onstage was just disjointed. Once again with just a little work this flaw could be worked out.
Basically I could see the potential that each actor and technician had, and where the director (from lack of experience and enthusiasm) went wrong. I saw what I would have done differently and how just a few simple changes would have made the play exponentially better.
Okay long example of how I look at things, but I like to see what can be done to make things better. I'm that way about everything. If I don't like a movie, what could be changed to make it something I would like.
People are a little harder, but I still do the same thing. I analyze everything about someone each time I meet them. I analyze what they say, what they wear, and what I say. I worry over stupid stuff, and a get caught up in flaws. But I do look for the good in everyone I meet. I guess if I can't hope that someone will not let me down then my life would be pretty bleak.
If you are thinking that I am pathetic than you are quite right. Don't worry though, the over analyzing is usually me over analyzing myself not others. I worry about the little things I say, things that no one remembers but me. I analyze looks that people give me and automatically assume the worst.
Yet, I hope for the best, I look past the things others do and say (most of the time) and usually get disappointed. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe my brain works the wrong way. But after analyzing my criticisms I feel life is better this way, even if I am strange.
I live to see what can be done better (only I don't always do what needs to be done for things to be done better).
I am a harsh critic of film and theatre, but I tend to be a little easier on people, but movies and plays are made by people so why the harshness? I guess I see the things that I could have done better. Here's an example, but I have to give a little back story first, so be yee warned!
After being turned down on the Drama Coach position at the local high school, and finding out that a 2nd grade teacher with little to no theatre experience is who was chosen over me, I was a little bitter (to say the least). I decided that if she wanted my help she would call, because the people in charge of hiring told me they would give her my name.
Well, she never called and I heard all kinds of complaints from the cast (many are my sister's friends, whom I knew from helping out with the plays last year). Everything from, being treated like small children, to lack of experience/knowledge about what she was doing, to lack of involvement from the director in the whole process.
So, naturally when I went to watch the play I was already skeptical. As the curtains opened I found myself looking for anything and everything that could possibly go wrong. But, since I did like the actors themselves I tried to look for the positive points as well. By the time the first act was over and intermission started I wanted to leave, but because I also wanted to support the cast and be able to give a solid review I stayed.
My biggest complaint with the play was a simple thing that any good director would have fixed, the way the set was laid out the actors always ended up speaking upstage, instead of toward the audience, therefore they lost over 3/4 of their volume, and a good 1/4 of the play couldn't be heard. All that had to be done was bring the set closer to the edge of the stage, and make sure the actors didn't turn upstage to speak. Simple and effective, something that anyone who even took a theatre class in high school should know.
My second complaint was with the actors' speaking when the audience was laughing. "Laugh lines" are hard to find, but a good director will remind the actors to pause for the audience. An experienced actor knows this, but as they were in high school their experience is limited. So that was another 1/4 of the play's lines lost to the laughing.
Another thing that happens often is actors speeding up their lines, usually caused by nerves. This makes it harder to understand what is being said. Although most of the actors spoke clearly, the rate at which they spoke made it hard to understand. So, we'll add that to the 1/4 of the play lost to volume. So, basically we've lost 1/2 of the play to volume and laughing. That's a lot to miss, and simple to fix.
Finally the one thing that stood out to me was the actor's lack of enthusiasm. Personally I think it came from a number of problems the director made/had/was. First, the play was below the cast's ability. It was a poorly written comedy, with slightly degrading characters and dialogue (degrading in the sense that they did Annie last year, a classic. They've also done The Music Man, and Much Ado About Nothing). The plot was lame, about a hick that becomes king and has to find a wife. His advisor is a swindler who puts on a Bachelor/American Idol/Survivor show to find the king a wife. Many of the actors told me later that they felt like their part was stupid, and that it made them feel stupid too.
Another mistake that the director made to cause the kids to not have the enthusiasm they needed for the performances, was to not do anything more than sit in the house seats to direct. From what I heard (from my sister who is even more critical than me, and from a few other cast members) she didn't get on stage ever. Now, a strong director who has the whole show planned out step by step can do that and still have a strong production. One who asks a cast member to do something different, but doesn't explain what he wants done, or doesn't show what he wants done, won't get anything much different. After all isn't a director's job to, um, direct?!
My final complaint against this director is the fact that she did not expect anything from the cast. She had no goal for them, other than the obvious to put the show on. They did not receive any excitement from her so they had not excitement themselves. An experienced director, even one that has had no training, would set a goal for each rehearsal and for the production itself, something to reach for, and expect the cast to reach it or try their best to reach it.
The stage is a place for actors, directors, and technicians to try new things in new ways. It is about discovery, and, especially in an educational setting, it is about pushing beyond the boundaries of self and comfort to find something new. The most important thing about high school theatre is to have fun while learning new things. This cast didn't learn much and they weren't having fun.
Oh, one more technical thing, costumes. While I know that budget is limited and the kids at the school generally dress the same, the costumes for the play all looked the same. Each of the contestants should have been wearing distinctive clothes. The valley-girl should have been girly and pink(or other such girly clothes), business woman would never wear open toed shoes to an interview, the gangster from NYC needed baggy jeans not tight cut offs (not to mention the sunglasses and hood that was blocking her facial expressions), and all the hill-billies clothes should have been more worn and torn and dirty. It was hard to tell the important characters apart from the ensemble because they all looked almost the same.
Okay now good things. I knew most of the cast, there were a few freshmen and upper-classmen that hadn't been in any of the plays I'd helped with. So I could recall what I had seen them do in the past and use that to analyze what they did in this play. As a whole they are all very talented young men and women. Some are stronger actors than others but they all are good.
The king and the girl he chose both had country accents, both accents were different. This too me was a huge accomplishment. The king was a kind of hill-billy accent whereas the girl was from a ranch in Texas. It was amazing that they could have such similar accents and yet be so different! Props to them!
There was one young man who would be a great actor, he has the voice and inflection to do some great work, however, he has a pattern, and I would love to be able to help him with that. he always uses the same hand gestures, and only moves the upper part of his body to emphasize things. With just a little work I think he could let go of the patterns he falls into and become a great leading man.
The freshmen in the cast were great as well. They had a great command of their voice and their parts, their blocking onstage was just disjointed. Once again with just a little work this flaw could be worked out.
Basically I could see the potential that each actor and technician had, and where the director (from lack of experience and enthusiasm) went wrong. I saw what I would have done differently and how just a few simple changes would have made the play exponentially better.
Okay long example of how I look at things, but I like to see what can be done to make things better. I'm that way about everything. If I don't like a movie, what could be changed to make it something I would like.
People are a little harder, but I still do the same thing. I analyze everything about someone each time I meet them. I analyze what they say, what they wear, and what I say. I worry over stupid stuff, and a get caught up in flaws. But I do look for the good in everyone I meet. I guess if I can't hope that someone will not let me down then my life would be pretty bleak.
If you are thinking that I am pathetic than you are quite right. Don't worry though, the over analyzing is usually me over analyzing myself not others. I worry about the little things I say, things that no one remembers but me. I analyze looks that people give me and automatically assume the worst.
Yet, I hope for the best, I look past the things others do and say (most of the time) and usually get disappointed. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe my brain works the wrong way. But after analyzing my criticisms I feel life is better this way, even if I am strange.
I live to see what can be done better (only I don't always do what needs to be done for things to be done better).
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
News Items
I haven't felt much like blogging these days but I do have some good news and interesting goings on to tell you about so I am going to revert to my ever-ready-list blogging style! :)
1-Got the job with the Children's Theatre Company of South Dakota! Very excited to start touring in January! I will begin in Sturgis and I have no clue where we will be after that. Obviously more to come later as I know more!
2-My cousin Mikaela(22) moved to Buffalo from Spring Hill, FL two weeks ago! She's currently living in the spare room that used to be Nate's room. Once she and her dad get some things settle they'll be getting a place together either in town or in Sheridan. This is a great thing for her! Although she is very cold! :) Its been nice to see her and know that she is in a place where people will give her the encouragement she deserves!
3-My cousin Nate(8) has moved back with us again. His step-dad recently died and I think the pressure of grief and raising a child was just too much for his mom. She is in need of your prayers, as is Nate. He loves living with us so that's a good thing. Its weird to have a much younger sibling again.
With two more bodies in the house things are crazy crazy! I was thinking about all this and thought maybe I should move out so that there is an extra room, but since I'll be touring and not making very much money its just not possible. I know that everyone will find their place eventually I just wish there was something more I could do to help the situation out.
4- My loverly dog has had to go to the vet twice in the last month! First he got a nasty ear infection :( We took him in and they had to put him out to clean them, then they taped his ears up and he looked really sad. So after his ears healed up he got a cut on his front paw which he wouldn't leave alone and so it was back to the vet to have his front paw shaved of all fur in the pads! He was not pleased with that experience! If he keeps messing with them he'll get the infamous cone on his head! Oh dear dear dog!
Well, those are my incredibly exciting news items for the time being! Take care all!
1-Got the job with the Children's Theatre Company of South Dakota! Very excited to start touring in January! I will begin in Sturgis and I have no clue where we will be after that. Obviously more to come later as I know more!
2-My cousin Mikaela(22) moved to Buffalo from Spring Hill, FL two weeks ago! She's currently living in the spare room that used to be Nate's room. Once she and her dad get some things settle they'll be getting a place together either in town or in Sheridan. This is a great thing for her! Although she is very cold! :) Its been nice to see her and know that she is in a place where people will give her the encouragement she deserves!
3-My cousin Nate(8) has moved back with us again. His step-dad recently died and I think the pressure of grief and raising a child was just too much for his mom. She is in need of your prayers, as is Nate. He loves living with us so that's a good thing. Its weird to have a much younger sibling again.
With two more bodies in the house things are crazy crazy! I was thinking about all this and thought maybe I should move out so that there is an extra room, but since I'll be touring and not making very much money its just not possible. I know that everyone will find their place eventually I just wish there was something more I could do to help the situation out.
4- My loverly dog has had to go to the vet twice in the last month! First he got a nasty ear infection :( We took him in and they had to put him out to clean them, then they taped his ears up and he looked really sad. So after his ears healed up he got a cut on his front paw which he wouldn't leave alone and so it was back to the vet to have his front paw shaved of all fur in the pads! He was not pleased with that experience! If he keeps messing with them he'll get the infamous cone on his head! Oh dear dear dog!
Well, those are my incredibly exciting news items for the time being! Take care all!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Waiting for life to Start
I've always thought myself a fairly patient person. I mean, I'm no saint, but
I've waited for years for that someone special to come along;
I've waited for God's still small voice to tell me what path to choose;
I've done a lot of waiting on people.
Waiting, to me, is just another part of life.
We wait in lines,
We wait on the phone,
We wait for answers,
We wait for good times to come,
We wait for bad times to pass,
We wait for things to grow,
We wait on other people to decide,
We wait to make our own decisions.
Wait wait wait. To tell the truth I'm starting to get impatient!
Once again I find myself waiting to find out what path God wants me to choose. There is a job I want, but still haven't heard about. I told God last night that if this job doesn't pan out then I am taking it to mean that He has a bigger plan for me and that I should start pursuing a different avenue. The problem is there are two choices I see before me:
1. Start looking at mission work that I can incorporate my theatre background into.
or
2. Start seriously looking at grad schools and pursue a career as a theatre professor.
So we'll discuss the first option.
I've felt called to some kind of ministry, for a while I thought I would be a missionary, but that didn't seem right. Then I totally ignored God and did my own thing (big mistake. I was miserable!). Now that I am trying to follow God's plan for my life I can't seem to lay a finger on what I should do.
The Bible says that when we follow God, He'll give us our heart's desire. My heart's desire is to marry and have kids. But I have yet to be involved romantically. I have a very specific "list" of qualifications for a future husband, and while I have met a few guys that "strike my fancy," none have been interested in me. I trust that God will provide the right man for me, I just don't know what I am supposed to do in the mean time!
Anyways back to the missions thing. I would love to spend a year or two as a "semester missionary" in a church where I could do drama and all that. But in looking at my options through my church I find that most organizations don't like you to have any kind of debt. Well, that rules me out! I have lots of student loans to pay off.
However I haven't looked that hard yet. But as I have a renewed sense of purpose I know that if this is what God wants me to do He will open doors for me. Heck, He might close a door and open a window to a totally unexpected opportunity! I just need to be on the lookout.
Option two: grad school.
If I went back to school I want to be part of a program that will cater to my personal interests. I want to direct and teach. I think I should take some more in-depth directing classes. And I think I need to take, as scary as they would be for me!, acting classes. I'd also like to take classes on how to manage theatre groups. So far most of the schools I've looked at via their websites offer bits and pieces of the things I think are important. Of course I don't know exactly what I would need to know!
Also, if I am going to go back to school I really don't want to have to spend too much more in student loans! Its already a scary thing to think about!
Another thing for me to think about is studying abroad. This is something I have always wanted to do but the opportunity never came up. In looking for schools I have considered looking in the UK and New Zealand. I would love to spend a few years outside of America. Ideally I would love to go to a small school in the London area.
So much to be thinking and praying about. Even if I get the job I'm waiting to hear about I will have to make some sort of choice in the Spring. So I guess that if I get the job I have more time to think about things and pray about them and discuss my options. If I don't then I'll feel more pressured to make a choice now.
I've waited for years for that someone special to come along;
I've waited for God's still small voice to tell me what path to choose;
I've done a lot of waiting on people.
Waiting, to me, is just another part of life.
We wait in lines,
We wait on the phone,
We wait for answers,
We wait for good times to come,
We wait for bad times to pass,
We wait for things to grow,
We wait on other people to decide,
We wait to make our own decisions.
Wait wait wait. To tell the truth I'm starting to get impatient!
Once again I find myself waiting to find out what path God wants me to choose. There is a job I want, but still haven't heard about. I told God last night that if this job doesn't pan out then I am taking it to mean that He has a bigger plan for me and that I should start pursuing a different avenue. The problem is there are two choices I see before me:
1. Start looking at mission work that I can incorporate my theatre background into.
or
2. Start seriously looking at grad schools and pursue a career as a theatre professor.
So we'll discuss the first option.
I've felt called to some kind of ministry, for a while I thought I would be a missionary, but that didn't seem right. Then I totally ignored God and did my own thing (big mistake. I was miserable!). Now that I am trying to follow God's plan for my life I can't seem to lay a finger on what I should do.
The Bible says that when we follow God, He'll give us our heart's desire. My heart's desire is to marry and have kids. But I have yet to be involved romantically. I have a very specific "list" of qualifications for a future husband, and while I have met a few guys that "strike my fancy," none have been interested in me. I trust that God will provide the right man for me, I just don't know what I am supposed to do in the mean time!
Anyways back to the missions thing. I would love to spend a year or two as a "semester missionary" in a church where I could do drama and all that. But in looking at my options through my church I find that most organizations don't like you to have any kind of debt. Well, that rules me out! I have lots of student loans to pay off.
However I haven't looked that hard yet. But as I have a renewed sense of purpose I know that if this is what God wants me to do He will open doors for me. Heck, He might close a door and open a window to a totally unexpected opportunity! I just need to be on the lookout.
Option two: grad school.
If I went back to school I want to be part of a program that will cater to my personal interests. I want to direct and teach. I think I should take some more in-depth directing classes. And I think I need to take, as scary as they would be for me!, acting classes. I'd also like to take classes on how to manage theatre groups. So far most of the schools I've looked at via their websites offer bits and pieces of the things I think are important. Of course I don't know exactly what I would need to know!
Also, if I am going to go back to school I really don't want to have to spend too much more in student loans! Its already a scary thing to think about!
Another thing for me to think about is studying abroad. This is something I have always wanted to do but the opportunity never came up. In looking for schools I have considered looking in the UK and New Zealand. I would love to spend a few years outside of America. Ideally I would love to go to a small school in the London area.
So much to be thinking and praying about. Even if I get the job I'm waiting to hear about I will have to make some sort of choice in the Spring. So I guess that if I get the job I have more time to think about things and pray about them and discuss my options. If I don't then I'll feel more pressured to make a choice now.
Friday, November 7, 2008
New Blog
You know my life must be pretty boring when I have created a second blog....
Which I have. Its called Someone's Words and its a place where I have begun to catalog some quotes from books, movies, music, people, etc. I've wanted to start a journal of quotes but somehow that never happened. So...a blog will have to suffice for now.
Here's the link: www.someoneswords.blogspot.com Check it out when you want to peruse the recesses of my crazy mind through the quotes I enjoy. :)
Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Which I have. Its called Someone's Words and its a place where I have begun to catalog some quotes from books, movies, music, people, etc. I've wanted to start a journal of quotes but somehow that never happened. So...a blog will have to suffice for now.
Here's the link: www.someoneswords.blogspot.com Check it out when you want to peruse the recesses of my crazy mind through the quotes I enjoy. :)
Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Monday, November 3, 2008
A Well in the Wilderness
Today while at work I asked our maintenance man (we'll call him M.) if he was going to vote tomorrow. Through the conversation we ended up sharing our testamonies with each other. I was amazed to hear the vast difference in his to mine. I grew up at church, was a good girl, and became a Christian at age 8. I've never done drugs, stolen anything, had sex, or even been really drunk. In contrast M.'s mother died when he was young and his father did not care for him. His youth was spent as a thief, druggie, and ended up in jail. One of his former partners became a Christian and shared the story with M. Today M. is a strong Christian, and totally on fire for God.
The conversation gave me hope as he reminded me that no matter where I am, in serving God and being faithful, God will also be faithful and will bring me joy. I tend to take God's grace for granted. Yesterday Donnie's sermon on the current state of affairs in the US reminded me that we have a lot to be thankful for. We truly are a blessed country and we take that for granted.
II Cronicles 7:14 says: if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
The US doesn't need Obama or McCain to turn things around, it needs its Christians to stop worrying about who they might offend, to stop being complacent and comfortable in their nice little pews, to stop ignoring God's call, and start praying for God's forgiveness for our country!
He has given much, and much is expected. We worry about gas prices and grocery prices, what about those who have no place to rest their heads at night?! What about those who live in places where if they even mention Jesus' name they risk death? How can Chritians today go to church, sing hymns about following Christ's call and go home without feeling moved in the least bit?
It breaks my heart that I have been so selfish. I pray that God will show me how to use the gifts He has given me to further the work of His kingdom. I'm tired of being complacent, I'm tired of not doing anything. The only way I know I will be truly content is if I am doing the work God made me for.
My prayer today is that as Christians we will have our eyes opened to the grace God has given us and act upon it. As Americans we have been given much, as Christians much is expected of us, let's stop being complacent. Let us pray for healing in our land and in our world.
The conversation gave me hope as he reminded me that no matter where I am, in serving God and being faithful, God will also be faithful and will bring me joy. I tend to take God's grace for granted. Yesterday Donnie's sermon on the current state of affairs in the US reminded me that we have a lot to be thankful for. We truly are a blessed country and we take that for granted.
II Cronicles 7:14 says: if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
The US doesn't need Obama or McCain to turn things around, it needs its Christians to stop worrying about who they might offend, to stop being complacent and comfortable in their nice little pews, to stop ignoring God's call, and start praying for God's forgiveness for our country!
He has given much, and much is expected. We worry about gas prices and grocery prices, what about those who have no place to rest their heads at night?! What about those who live in places where if they even mention Jesus' name they risk death? How can Chritians today go to church, sing hymns about following Christ's call and go home without feeling moved in the least bit?
It breaks my heart that I have been so selfish. I pray that God will show me how to use the gifts He has given me to further the work of His kingdom. I'm tired of being complacent, I'm tired of not doing anything. The only way I know I will be truly content is if I am doing the work God made me for.
My prayer today is that as Christians we will have our eyes opened to the grace God has given us and act upon it. As Americans we have been given much, as Christians much is expected of us, let's stop being complacent. Let us pray for healing in our land and in our world.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Leaving Home Behind
So this is a view from I90 going into Buffalo from Gillette. This is where I have spent most of my life. Those mountains draw me back every time I leave. This is home.
But home isn't home anymore. As time goes on I find that even though my heart will always call this place home, I can't be a part of it anymore. It is time for me to pull up my roots and make it on my own. I may be transplanted and up-rooted many times before I find a new home, but I must do it.
I don't mean to sound depressing or overly dramatic, but I am drowning in loneliness and am tired of lying to myself that it will get better. I won't meet anyone new here because I won't step out of who I was. I am a different person now, and I don't fit here. Its not a place where I can grow anymore. Living here is only making me unhappy, depressed. The only way I will be happy is if I put aside my selfishness and fears and finally trust that God will protect me "out there." HE will provide for me. HE will open doors, or shut them. Only God can make ME happen. I am useless in making my own way, my own plans, and providing opportunities. I must trust, must rely, and must let go of my past. That is all I can do.
Ironically, it feels like the calm before a storm. Something big is headed my way. I won't settle for a mediocre existance anymore. Something is building within me and without. I am ready to take on whatever battles lie ahead.
With Christ by my side and home in my heart, I face a new day, a new challenge, and I will succeed. Life won't get me down anymore.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
My Eyes Change Color When I Cry
Okay so I was looking through some friend's blogs and they had a blog with 50 facts about themselves. I thought I'd give it a try. Some of these you may know and some you may not, if I surprise you let me know!
1-I teach a 1 and 2 year old Sunday School class
2-My favorite job so far was working at an afterschool program
3-I sing very loudly in my car, but refuse to sing in front of anyone
4-I can crochet a hat in 45 mins
5-I've donated my hair to Locks of Love, and am getting ready to do it again!
6-My favorite color is purple
7-I'm a decendant of Queen Victoria, and of William Bradford
8-My brother is in the Marines and I am so proud of him
9-My eyes change color when I cry
10-I want to move to England for a year
11-I'd be homesick for the mountains the entire time
12-I'm afraid of fish, or anything else that might be in water
13-I planted a garden this year and my sunflowers got over 6' tall
14-The Family Stone is the one movie that makes me ball no matter how I am feeling
15-I can make my eyes look in two different directions
16-I've been in a car accident in China
17-Taxi's in San Fransico scare me half to death
18-I've never been drunk, but once I did three shots of tequilla in 5 mins
19-I've never had a beer
20-I procrastinate
21-I hate doing dishes
22-Music plays in my head constantly
23-As a child, I had a blankie and a special stuffed animal that I never went without
24-I still sleep with a stuffed animal
25-When I was little my best friend and I would pull a leg off of grasshoppers and watch them jump in circles
26-I'm afraid of grasshoppers....ironic?
27-I am strongly opposed to all politicians
28-I ate a 100 year old egg in China
29-I don't like sea food
30-I've never gone more than 2 days without showering
31-I hit my head the first time I tried down-hill skiing, and the first time I tried snowbaording, I still can's do either
32-My sister is one of my best friends
33-My parents have been married 31 years
34-I hate it when people call me anything other than my name
35-I've never tried drugs
36-My first drink was a month before my 21st birthday
37-I am secretly in love with someone
38-My grandparents eloped
39-I have Russian cousins
40-My passport is almost full
41-I hate food that I have to take off the bone, ie fried chicken, fish, pork chops....
42-I have seriously considered becoming a vegitarian
43-I ran into our camper when my dad tried to teach me to drive a stick shift
44-I can wiggle my ears
45-Honey I Shrunk the Kids scared me, and I still don't like that movie
46-Beatleguese was my favorite movie as a kid
47-I want to have twins
48-My ears are pierced twice
49-I want to get a tattoo on my foot
50-I can read and write in ancient Greek
1-I teach a 1 and 2 year old Sunday School class
2-My favorite job so far was working at an afterschool program
3-I sing very loudly in my car, but refuse to sing in front of anyone
4-I can crochet a hat in 45 mins
5-I've donated my hair to Locks of Love, and am getting ready to do it again!
6-My favorite color is purple
7-I'm a decendant of Queen Victoria, and of William Bradford
8-My brother is in the Marines and I am so proud of him
9-My eyes change color when I cry
10-I want to move to England for a year
11-I'd be homesick for the mountains the entire time
12-I'm afraid of fish, or anything else that might be in water
13-I planted a garden this year and my sunflowers got over 6' tall
14-The Family Stone is the one movie that makes me ball no matter how I am feeling
15-I can make my eyes look in two different directions
16-I've been in a car accident in China
17-Taxi's in San Fransico scare me half to death
18-I've never been drunk, but once I did three shots of tequilla in 5 mins
19-I've never had a beer
20-I procrastinate
21-I hate doing dishes
22-Music plays in my head constantly
23-As a child, I had a blankie and a special stuffed animal that I never went without
24-I still sleep with a stuffed animal
25-When I was little my best friend and I would pull a leg off of grasshoppers and watch them jump in circles
26-I'm afraid of grasshoppers....ironic?
27-I am strongly opposed to all politicians
28-I ate a 100 year old egg in China
29-I don't like sea food
30-I've never gone more than 2 days without showering
31-I hit my head the first time I tried down-hill skiing, and the first time I tried snowbaording, I still can's do either
32-My sister is one of my best friends
33-My parents have been married 31 years
34-I hate it when people call me anything other than my name
35-I've never tried drugs
36-My first drink was a month before my 21st birthday
37-I am secretly in love with someone
38-My grandparents eloped
39-I have Russian cousins
40-My passport is almost full
41-I hate food that I have to take off the bone, ie fried chicken, fish, pork chops....
42-I have seriously considered becoming a vegitarian
43-I ran into our camper when my dad tried to teach me to drive a stick shift
44-I can wiggle my ears
45-Honey I Shrunk the Kids scared me, and I still don't like that movie
46-Beatleguese was my favorite movie as a kid
47-I want to have twins
48-My ears are pierced twice
49-I want to get a tattoo on my foot
50-I can read and write in ancient Greek
October
The leaves have changed colors; well they tried to before it finally frosted over and they got stuck with whatever color they happened to be before the frost. They rustle loudy at night when the wind blows. Its a little creepy to tell the truth. If only I could shut out their sounds.
I've never liked Autumn. To me its the time when everything starts to die. The freedom of summer has vanished, school is in full swing, the days are growing shorter and the nights get longer, its cooler, or in my case COLD, and I'm once again constricted by my winter clothes and shoes. I never know if its going to be warm or cold, and it could be cold in the morning then warm in the afternoon so I have to dress accordingly. Aside from the pretty colors, Autumn is not my season.
Once Winter sets in I'll be okay, at least I always know how to dress, that it will always be colors of grey and white and brown outside (usually brown and grey...ick), and it will for sure last at least 4 months; more often than not, 6.
Autumn and Winter making me think of waiting. I always seem to be waiting for something better to come along. I'm usually waiting for friends to come home for a visit, or cards to come in the mail, and hell, I usually am waiting from that frist icky day of Autumn for the first real day of Spring to come. I'm always looking forward to the day I can wear flip-flops again! Not that waiting is bad. Sometimes it makes the thing I'm waiting for even better. Right now I am waiting to hear back about a job for the Spring.
I'm praying that things will work out for me to take this job, its perfect for my life right now. I'm not tied down to anything or anyone, so the travelling part of it is perfect. I love the thrill of new places, new faces, and new experiences. Plus its in my field of study! I'd be traveling around the Mid-West doing children's theatre! Working with kids, and watching them learn about how much fun theatre can be; watching a shy child transform into a social butterfly on stage; seeing the joy of playing a part shine through their eyes; its all so amazing. I want to be a part of something like that!
I've never liked Autumn. To me its the time when everything starts to die. The freedom of summer has vanished, school is in full swing, the days are growing shorter and the nights get longer, its cooler, or in my case COLD, and I'm once again constricted by my winter clothes and shoes. I never know if its going to be warm or cold, and it could be cold in the morning then warm in the afternoon so I have to dress accordingly. Aside from the pretty colors, Autumn is not my season.
Once Winter sets in I'll be okay, at least I always know how to dress, that it will always be colors of grey and white and brown outside (usually brown and grey...ick), and it will for sure last at least 4 months; more often than not, 6.
Autumn and Winter making me think of waiting. I always seem to be waiting for something better to come along. I'm usually waiting for friends to come home for a visit, or cards to come in the mail, and hell, I usually am waiting from that frist icky day of Autumn for the first real day of Spring to come. I'm always looking forward to the day I can wear flip-flops again! Not that waiting is bad. Sometimes it makes the thing I'm waiting for even better. Right now I am waiting to hear back about a job for the Spring.
I'm praying that things will work out for me to take this job, its perfect for my life right now. I'm not tied down to anything or anyone, so the travelling part of it is perfect. I love the thrill of new places, new faces, and new experiences. Plus its in my field of study! I'd be traveling around the Mid-West doing children's theatre! Working with kids, and watching them learn about how much fun theatre can be; watching a shy child transform into a social butterfly on stage; seeing the joy of playing a part shine through their eyes; its all so amazing. I want to be a part of something like that!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Snow
Its been a while since I posted...this is why I suck at blogging.
So updates:
1. Didn't get Starbucks job.
2. Didn't get Drama Coach job.
3. Still at the church.
4. Working semi full-time at Super 8 of Buffalo.
5. Dad's healing from surgery really well!
6. Adam's almost done with 10 days leave after boot camp.
7. I'm making hats ana scarves to raise $$ for the Spain and Italy trip.
8. I am thinking I'll be back at WYOBA to cook next summer.
9. Its snowing here!
Snow is an interesting thing. Most of the time I hate hate hate it, but just now its refreshing. I love how it covers everything in a blanket of white. I like how it covers all the icky brown/grey of winter. It smooths out the rough edges in the world around you.
Plus the first snow of the season always slows everyone down. Its a reminder to be careful, to drive slower and to have a little fun. Who doesn't like a snowball fight? The loser probably.
So updates:
1. Didn't get Starbucks job.
2. Didn't get Drama Coach job.
3. Still at the church.
4. Working semi full-time at Super 8 of Buffalo.
5. Dad's healing from surgery really well!
6. Adam's almost done with 10 days leave after boot camp.
7. I'm making hats ana scarves to raise $$ for the Spain and Italy trip.
8. I am thinking I'll be back at WYOBA to cook next summer.
9. Its snowing here!
Snow is an interesting thing. Most of the time I hate hate hate it, but just now its refreshing. I love how it covers everything in a blanket of white. I like how it covers all the icky brown/grey of winter. It smooths out the rough edges in the world around you.
Plus the first snow of the season always slows everyone down. Its a reminder to be careful, to drive slower and to have a little fun. Who doesn't like a snowball fight? The loser probably.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Blogging: A First Attempt
Okay so I have done this before but I have lost and forgotten my old blog location so I thought I would just begin anew.
I'm a list person so I thought I would list a few things that have happened in the last while:
1. I'm STILL living at home!
2. I'm going to Spain and Italy in June '09!
3. I'm still single.
4. I've for sure got one part-time job, as a secretary at my church.
5. I'm looking for full-time work...have applied to a million places....have had a couple interviews...am waiting to hear back on those interviews...have a second interview with Starbucks tomorrow...crossing my fingers on that one.
6. I have the greatest/smartest/dumbest/sweetest dog ever!
7. My brother is at Camp Pendleton doing basic training for the Marines.
8. My sister is now a sophmore at BHS
9. My dad is going to have surgery in Florida in a couple weeks.
10. I'm bored! ;)
Well I think that is about it. Oh I am still waiting to hear from the high school about the Drama coach position. I'm getting a little fed-up with waiting, I've called like three times so I'm thinking they hate me and don't want to give me the job. If I get it great! If not then I guess I'll have to find a theatre-outlet somewhere! I need to do theatre in some way shape or form!
Okay enough for now. I'll try and post some pictures later.
God Bless!
I'm a list person so I thought I would list a few things that have happened in the last while:
1. I'm STILL living at home!
2. I'm going to Spain and Italy in June '09!
3. I'm still single.
4. I've for sure got one part-time job, as a secretary at my church.
5. I'm looking for full-time work...have applied to a million places....have had a couple interviews...am waiting to hear back on those interviews...have a second interview with Starbucks tomorrow...crossing my fingers on that one.
6. I have the greatest/smartest/dumbest/sweetest dog ever!
7. My brother is at Camp Pendleton doing basic training for the Marines.
8. My sister is now a sophmore at BHS
9. My dad is going to have surgery in Florida in a couple weeks.
10. I'm bored! ;)
Well I think that is about it. Oh I am still waiting to hear from the high school about the Drama coach position. I'm getting a little fed-up with waiting, I've called like three times so I'm thinking they hate me and don't want to give me the job. If I get it great! If not then I guess I'll have to find a theatre-outlet somewhere! I need to do theatre in some way shape or form!
Okay enough for now. I'll try and post some pictures later.
God Bless!
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