Grumblings and Inspiration

So I want to warn you that this post will be mostly me venting about life in general. It may sound from the tone of this post that things aren't going well, when actually life is bearable, I just haven't had anyone to vent to in a while and since this seems a good enough place as any.... Oh and my thought will be a bit disjointed as my sleep meds are starting to kick in now.

Singleness sucks! I know I complain a lot about being single, and well its because I don't like it one bit! As I get older I feel like the chances of me finding anyone get smaller and smaller. Right now I can't even blame my being too picky since there hasn't been anyone remotely interested in me! Geeze.
I am being patient but the hardest part is when friends (who I thought would be getting engaged and married long after me) are married or pretty close to it. I am truly happy for them, I just hate having to sit there and listen to them talk about their significant others. The more friends that get engaged the more un-significant I feel.

Life on the road with one partner gets old fast. I think part of this is fueled by my first complaint. I am quickly getting sick of seeing only one other familiar face. We get along fine, it just would be nice to see other friends/co-workers/anyone. I'm trying to make it day-by-day and my partner is counting down the days. Plus I only just started this life on the road, she's been doing this 3 months longer than me. I'm a little tired of her negative attitude about things, but don't feel like I have any right to say anything because she has been doing this longer than me.

Life after college really blows. I miss the days when I could just ditch class and sleep in, or go to the mall, or go on a random road trip. I am committed to this job thing and once this summer is over I'll have to commit to something even more long term. Ack! I don't know what to do or where to g. None of the suggestions people have given me help.
I have decided that, even though it seems like the easy way out of my current "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"- dilemma, going back to school is not a good idea. But deciding on a job scares me. What can I do that will make me enough money to make it through the next few years?

I don't like myself very much. I find many things wrong with who and what I am. I'm really struggling with my weight and now my acne is flaring up again. Not only physically but also mentally am I unhappy with who I am. I'm so cynical and negative, I remember when I was much more happy-go-lucky and I miss it. Just because crappy stuff has happened doesn't mean I should wallow in my self pity, eat too much, hate everything around me, and then hate myself. It's time I stopped whining.

Sometimes I find myself blaming God for the way my life has gone, but I know that I've brought a lot of this on myself. I've come to realize that while I have lots of ups and big downs over the last few years, I have not been living my life for Christ, and therefore I am not happy. I have little to no joy in life. I look back on the happiest times in my life and it was when I was closest to God. Over time I have pushed Him from the head writer in my life's story to the thesaurus I turn to when I don't know what to do next.
So, during the next few weeks and months it is my goal to let God take the pen again. I can't be in control anymore, not to mention, I have run out of ideas. I trust that God has a big plan for me, I've always felt it, and it is time that that plan is fulfilled.